What I Carry that isn't Mine: A Journal Response

It seems I have a NEED that doesn’t seem to be a part of my sister’s lives: a need to know,
be connected and acknowledged that I am part of something bigger than myself.

I carry around the failure of communication, failed attempts at connection.
I carry SHAME and quiet unknown GUILT that doesn’t speak for itself, it just gets pushed further under.

I used to chase the ghost that is my father and I still avoid the faith of my mother.
I chase what I carry in my soul, in my genes: connection and any type of love.

We still talk once in awhile and he ends each phone call with “I love you.” What am I to say back?
Those three words still glimmer with hope but without knowing who he is.
I say those three words back to honor what I wanted for decades.

If Money Wasn't an Obstacle..

My ideal creation space would be in a renovated barn in the countryside.
Plenty of space for painting, writing, practicing yoga and also relaxation,
with a door open to allow a cool breeze.

A large desk with many compartments to store 

my paper, ink, acrylic paint and more. My creations as well as others would adorn the walls, 

surrounding me with color and inspiration.

The writing space would have fresh flowers on shelves and my table.A typewriter as well as a laptop computer next to each other, both serving an important use for inspiration. 

A few comfortable chairs and hammock as well as a bookcase filled with titles that have been on my wishlist for years, just waiting for me to pick one up and settle in with tea or wine.

My relaxation and yoga space would be surrounded by candles and soothing aromatherapy oils. Beautiful plants to either side of soft pillows and mattress so that I may choose to lie down or sit and feel my breath. I would have a yoga mat and wedges next to a small closed off area where I can change into yoga clothes or my swimsuit. 

Just beyond the changing space would  be a set of beautiful French doors leading out to a four season porch, a private garden and spa.

Image by Artem Beliaikin from Unsplash

Saturday Challenge: Same But Different

Hi my wonderful friends :)


Long time, no post! A year ago I decided to buy my own domain name and host in order to try my hand at showing my artwork through a blog I designed myself. Almost a year later and I have very few visitors AND I have a horrible fear of posting on a daily basis.

So..here I am as Bohemian NERD on Blogger. No passwords to memorize, no fear of perfection. Back to words that may be polished or not. But all poems and essays and such are honest, no BS.

Having said all that, today I am participating in one of my favorite prompt sites: Mindlovemisery Menagerie's Saturday Challenge: "Same But Different."


The Challenge: to use the five words provided by finding their synonyms and use those in poetry or prose. The words are: party, new, goodbye, resolution and hope. In my creation, I will use the synonym followed by the original word in ().

For example:

Uncle Buck arrived at the shindig (party) smelling of moonshine.

______________________________________________________________

The band at the soiree (party) sang out silky satin songs of celebration
My feathered disguise stood out among a sea of modern (new), very low cut dresses
I dashed towards the exit, blinded by hot tears with a swan song (goodbye) on my lips
A voice, deep and debonair, called "Wait!', heavy in the air
Eyes lost beneath a dark veil of feathers, an easy smile on pink lips
"One dance, my dear lady," my resolve (resolution) vanished in spite
My heart whispered, "Follow desire (hope) for tonight"
A feathered couple flew that night.

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